My story as it was revealed to me:
It was a warm, sunny, and most picturesque of afternoons. I do not remember the exact calendar date neither do I remember the exact time. It was just an unspecific Saturday afternoon during the summer of 1997. In TRUTH, time and space are moot.
Highlighted by a bursting ray of sunshine, the curtains appeared to be dancing, as a gentle breeze whispered thru the window. As I was lying on my bed, immersed in the words of a book by Emmet Fox on the Beatitudes “IT” happened. What “IT” was I cannot speak of, not because I do not remember, for “IT” was life changing. But rather, no words can express “IT”, for “IT” itself IS ineffable. In the presence of “IT” there are no words spoken, yet all knowing is the fullness of breathe in “IT”. For twelve years, with heaviness of heart, nothing has so consumed my days; but to share “IT” with anyone and everyone who wants to know what is the prominence of beauty, what is affinity and benevolence of joy, what is peace that surpasses all understanding, verily “What is TRUTH”…
Effulgence saturated the room and my mind became consummately incontrovertible, I stood in ubiquitous splendor. Thoughts expeditiously permeated the very essence of my “being” like an impassioned stream raging forth after a storm. I was engulfed with every emotion one could ascertain. In “the twinkling of an eye” all that is marked by the divide, all that is unknown and misunderstood, indeed every fragmented piece of puzzle scattered across the chasmal expanse reconciled as one, “I AM”.
I stood there in awe for an indefinite amount of time; “IT” seemed to pass as swiftly as “IT” was revealed. But as “IT” happened there was knowing of a pervasive and immutable eternal flame. It would be many days before my feet touch the ground; as the burden of my flesh seemed lifted from the very essence of my soul. I was unaware at this time of what exactly happened. Neither was I mindful to the fact that my days here on earth would never be the same. Perhaps it is for this exact purpose that “I was born for such a time as this”. Perhaps it is for this exact reason that I should testify to “What is TRUTH”.
Several hours had passed, as I spent much time in deep reflection before calling a very close friend; to share the good news of what had happened. Hope seemed to fill the tone of her voice as we spoke. You see, I am an alcoholic of the “hopeless variety” and she was my sponsor. Like many times in the past she suggested I write. I never took this suggestion before because I simply could not write; as every attempt at writing in the past failed under duress. I had the most despondent kind of low self-esteem and contemptible self-pity. Marked by fear I had locked myself away deep into the abyss of self-loathing. Although my head was filled with thoughts racing across it, as soon as I would pick up the pen, there was static; like a radio stuck between channels, chaotic and obtrusive.
This time was different. I decided to take her suggestion lest I forget a lesson learned. With pen in hand, I opened an empty five hundred page notebook and my journey began. Four hours had past like a moment. I never paid attention to the clock. Neither had I stopped until I could no longer continue… alas the notebook was full. “What just happened”, I thought to myself. Words flowed from my mind like a waterfall pouring into the sea; my thoughts filled the vacuous paper before me. Unceasingly for twelve years the writing remains vigorous, the words are without end. Like a fire aflame within my deepest being nothing other than to express the ineffable “WORD” has consumed my days. But I fear even now with the most earnest of sincerity in motive and deepest dedication of intent that I should be able to utter righteously of “IT’s” virtuous magnificence.
This was the predecessor of three integral and cumulative anomalies. The second was expressly different from the first but certainly not incongruous. Several years had passed since the life changing epiphany. I was not aware of the time or the date on this occasion either. But “IT” happened sometime in the year 2001. Again I was reading. This time it was a book called “Wisdom” from what is known as “The Apocryphal Books” of the bible.
Whether I was in the body or not, I could not say. Immersed in substance, fluid like but not liquid, comprehensively not physical; … “IT” was rather ethereal. Boundless and floating freely yet not moving, or perhaps better expressed as not expending energy. I was aware but not separate or self-aware. There was a luminescence encircling me and it appeared as if to be actively rotating. The most visceral sensation of this immense phenomenon was that I was wholly reconciled, equanimously harmonic and utterly transcendent. There was absolutely no fear, no lack, and no aloneness. I was blessed, purified, glorified, and being in the omnipresent sanctuary of the ineffable divine, “I AM”. I did not wish to depart from this presence but I was as powerless to stay as I was in coming. In the same manner as the first prevalence, “IT” seemed to pass as swiftly as “IT” was revealed.
Once again I was in awe and the burden of my flesh seemed lifted from the very essence of my soul. But unlike the first all knowing occurrence, this one had just left me in a state of blissfulness. I had nothing to express in pen and paper. How does one speak of utter peace and contentment? Of course no one believed then, and save for a very few who have known as I have known of this state of being, most still not do not believe. So is it now something I should not speak of? It was a state of reality devoid of all the complexities of life, all the role playing and propaganda, and all the foolish games of manipulation, pain and suffering.
Surely there is someone who wants to know of such things. Someone who wrestles in their inner most self; perhaps suspicious of something amiss in this world, but they cannot quite put their finger on it. There must be something more, a purpose, or a place long forgotten. I am here to tell you that there is such a place, but it is not as you could ever imagine. Is it heaven? Well all I can say is it is heavenly. It is not anything as a worldly mind could describe, as a mind is able to discern only as it understands. In so doing it would and could only be able to recreate a world exactly as it is already in their mind. Therefore the mind will perceive and experience the same world presently and believe it is nowhere other. In fact, the idea that anything exists outside the mind is quite suspect.
I have come to know “IT” is already here. There is nowhere to seek “ITs” presence as “IT” is but a paradigm shift. “IT” and the mind are one. Being one; they are positionally understood, in the same exact place. The problem with perception is a displacement of the self; or better understood as a split mind, being the “I” and “me”. One can readily comprehend this dilemma simply by looking in a mirror. Reflection is the “I’ perceiving the “me”. Since the “I” sees itself there as “me” and not where “I” is, the “I” has shifted perception of itself from the inside out to the outside in. This is what could be stated as projection and cause for all sense perception or what is known as experience. Indeed all experience is done so by the “me” reflection and wrested into the “I” through displacement and dissociation. All chaos is but a wrestling between the “I” and the “me” to justify a meaning and purpose for what has been displaced and dissociated.
What has been displaced and dissociated is but a projected reflection of the “I” to the “me”. The paradigm shift is a transference of power known as dominion. The “I” has given dominion to the “me” which is but a projected reflection of itself. A reflection as “me”; in an image and likeness of “I”, in reality is not real. How this has happened has eluded some of the greatest minds in psychology, philosophy, and science. The reason for this is a matter of faith and logic. As all logical systems deal with the validation of a premise put forth, it appears reasonable to trust what it asserts. But if one can recognize the subtlety of deception here, as in “put forth”, it would be easily understood as but a projected reflection also. The projected “me” and the premise put forth are in the same realm so they appear to concur. Faith in the illusive world; the projected reflection, then seems reasonable because what “me” experiences is validated by its own wrested justifications.
It is perhaps easy to discern the “me” that the “I” role plays in the world is not the “I”. But it is very difficult for the “I” to take back the power that has been displaced and dissociated from itself. Faith in the “I’s” existence and understanding of its whereabouts is necessary. It can only be ascertained through a reversal of projection. This of course would be inner reflection known as meditation which calls for detachment from all sense perception. The more the “I” takes back dominion through detachment of sense perception, the clearer the outside picture becomes. When the “two become one”; that is the “I” and the “me”, the more peace one feels from within and the less one needs from without. All desire is an attempt to ascertain this peace but is never completely sated. The only reason desire is never sated is because it is an exchange between the “me” and the premise it has put forth to justify its reality. What other than insanity can this be called?
This brings me to the third and final anomaly I experienced. Unlike the first two occurrences, this time I was not reading. I was meditating or inner reflecting. It was several months after the second but again the exact time and date escapes me. I would have to say the reason I do not remember the exact time and date of all three experiences is because I was not looking for them. I had never heard of such things before so how could I be looking for something I had no knowledge of? This is very crucial to understanding. As I stated above, perception is projection.
Since all we have stored up is in the memory bank, what is projected can only be of the past and only what it has knowledge of. This creates only bias between what is real and unreal. The unreal is justified by the sense perception so its validity takes precedence over what is real. But understand that this validation is due to a thing being consistently repeated. As you know from a scientific perspective, only that which can be repeated consistently is stated as true. This is truly what is known as insanity as it is said to be “doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.” The expected different results could be stated as falsifiability, since what is scientific must adhere to what is falsifiable. What more can I say of insanity except to detail its evidential facts?
I was laying on my bed thinking. There appeared in my mind’s eye a resplendent white light. It was the glorious embodiment of beauty itself. As the light seemed to draw near it was angelic in form. There were projections on either side appearing as wings. When it was upon me, I knew it was not the light coming to me but it was I aspiring to it. There I stood face to face with Jesus as Christ. Consumed by an awe-inspiring brilliance with his arms wide-open, the fullness and breathe of love was communicated; without words and without touch. Once again in “the twinkling of an eye”; the fragmented pieces of puzzle scattered across the chasmal expanse, the “I” and the “me” reconciled as one. “I” was wholly one and peacefully at rest. “As it is in Heaven’ was one with “as it is on earth”. What was “loosed” on earth was “bound” in Heaven and what was “bound” on earth was “loosed” in Heaven. I “knew the truth” as “I” was the truth” and “I” was set free from the chains of “me”.
What more can I say of TRUTH but that “IT” exist. “IT” stands where “IT” has always been, always will be, and always is, here and now. Untainted by all the illusive experiences we ourselves have covered “IT” over with, “IT” is a state of immaculate beauty and harmonious simplicity. “IT” is free and available for all to “BE” in the sanctuary of the holiest of holies, verily to enter “God’s rest”.
But there is a price to pay in the world and most do not like what it involves. Yet the decision is yours and yours alone to make. No one can do this for you; neither can you receive it through osmosis. Every day and every moment it is your choice. Who has your eyes but you? Who has your mind but you? Who has your heart but you? So who can make this choice but you?
It may be that we have all been taught to believe in that which has been displaced and dissociated; but now you know that it is your choice to “name” what you believe. This belief will be where you place dominion is directly proportional to the “name” you have chosen for it. As easily as you can perceive a glass as half empty or half full you change the premise of your belief. By shifting from a negative to a positive perspective all that follows this new “name” changes. How you interpret all subsequent experiences follows in line with the interpretation. This is why you remember what you will remember. Therefore this will not only determine how you react to other experiences, but it will determine what you can and will actually experience. You will receive (by interpretation) in accordance to how you give and you will give in accordance to how you interpret your environment. All this will happen in you not in the world around you.
You can easily see that regardless of how you perceive the glass, it itself has not changed. Although it is but only your perspective that has shifted, it makes quite a life changing impact as it regards how, what and why you experience. So too it is with all that has been displaced and dissociated. If such a menial shift in perception can make such an impact then how can anyone declare that what they do experience is true? Or what they do perceive is reality? Do you really wish to know “What is TRUTH”? Do you know who the “I” of “me” is in you? Do you have faith that your “I” is something other than the “me” roles you have wrested your “I” into to give your “I” some purpose? The answer is in you. I have faith that you believe your “I” exists. But it is by your faith that you’re “I” is healed. The decision is yours and yours alone to make.
One thing to note here of major relevance is: “what is understanding”. As understanding is all you actually possess and is therefore all you actually have to give. It is very easy to understand that you cannot give what you do not possess in the physical. For example; you cannot give someone twenty dollars if all you have is ten dollars. But what is not discerned is that everything you give in the physical is given in accordance to and as a representation of your understanding.
Understanding is like a box and you can only act within the parameters of this box. Your interpretive value equals your level of understanding as in the example of the glass scenario above. Also above I stated that there is a “paradigm shift” which displaces “I” that is here to the “me” it sees there in the mirror. This displacement dissociates the mirror image that is but an external projection of what it believes the “I” to be. This belief is not the “I” as it is itself but rather it is “me’s” interpretive value at the level of “me’s” understanding.
Hopefully you realize the significance of the glass scenario’s shift from negativity to positivity and its affect on one’s own emotional state. But what you may not realize is that this emotional state acts in accordance to the level of understanding it possesses. This in turn comes mainly from the interpretive value it believes it has experienced. Experience is the result of the “paradigm shift” and the “transference of power “. The power that the “I” has given to the “me” as dominion, is the interpretive value; in accordance to the level of understanding. The “me” in turn shifts it’s dominion to an elusive world it itself has erroneously projected as a means to justify itself as real.
But when you have understood that it is neither the glass half empty nor the glass half full that matters, as these are but a means to an end… and… when you understand that it is “that which has never actually changed”, like the glass did not change because your perception of it did… and… when you have decided to take back the dominion from the “me” and all the power you choose to give “me’s” wrested role playing… and… when you have chosen to seek the “I” in you who is always “I” and transcends ALL that the “me” tells the “I” it is but it is not… then you will “Know the TRUTH and the TRUTH will release the “I” from “me” and the “I” will BE free”… and indeed it will be just as Paul describes 1 Cor 15:51:
“Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed– in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.”